Food for Thought

[perlmonger]

Last night I dreamed that I was part of a conspiracy to kidnap all the living (and unliving, in one notable case) incumbents of the office of Home Secretary, lock them in a large room equipped only with a source of water and a few sharp knives, and wait to see who ate whom first.

I suppose we might have allowed them cooking facilities too: I expect that Bob Carr at least is getting a bit tough at 92.

Messrs. Carr, Brittan, Hurd, Waddington, Baker, Clarke (K), Howard, Straw, Blunkett, Clarke (C), Reid and Smith: who would go first? Perhaps I should make a poll.

Comments

[burkesworks.livejournal.com]

who ate whom first.

I'd say Ken Clarke would be first on the menu; not only is he one of the least illiberal, but he has more meat on him than most.

Bob Carr may be tough at 92, but only because the so-called "butchers" of the Angry Brigade[1] didn't do a good enough job of tenderising him (and I have my own theory about how that was bungled, but that's another story)

[1] - Bet you didn't know Anna Mendleson used to live round the corner from me.

[miss-s-b.livejournal.com]

Now, interestingly, I would say Clarke would be the first to eat someone; the hunger plus nicotine deprivation combination would make him crack first. Charles Clarke would be the first one killed, I think.

[brisingamen.livejournal.com]

If you have a source of water and cooking facilities, I'm sure Bob Carr could be turned into soup eventually.

My fantasy bet is on your opening the door at the end, finding them all hamstrung and half-dead, except for Michael Howard, who would be sitting around looking pink and glossy and remarkably pleased with himself.

In a more Goldingesque scenario, I'd say Blunkett would be first for the chop as being least able to defend himself when the hunting began.

Realistically, I'd hardly know where to begin, but how about Smith as she's actually, you know, still in a position to cause trouble at the moment. The only one I consider halfway worth saving is Ken Clarke, mainly on the basis I think there is possibly still a human being lurking in there.

[thegreatgonzo.livejournal.com]

except for Michael Howard, who would be sitting around looking pink and glossy and remarkably pleased with himself

Howard and one (or more) of the other Conservatives would do a deal, after all he only wants the blood, so he can let them have the flesh. Not sure who he is most closely aligned with, Baker?
I expect the resulting alliance would then start on the recent NewLab lot in descending order of how much they believe them to have stolen their right wing credentials.

come over from Liberal Conspiracy (http://www.liberalconspiracy.org/2009/01/12/top-stories-and-blog-review-12th-jan/) BTW