Words...

[perlmonger]

 There's a word I'm looking for; the best I can describe its meaning is as the cake that underlies the icing of sex. Icing on its own is lovely, but it's transformed by a good grounding (especially if chocolate is involved), and cake without icing is just fine too. That, cake-not-necessarily-with-icing, is what I'm trying to name.

Intimacy is a word, but it's harsh, hard; for all its literal meaning, it feels like it separates, not joins. Roget offers me nothing, and descriptives like "cuddling" or "snuggling" are both too specific and too superficial, and implicitly hijacked as mealy-mouthed euphemisms for shagging. Love is, I think, a necessary prerequisite, but as a word covers a vastly wider area. "Physical love?" We're back to shagging again :)

"Sharing touch" is maybe the best I've come up with, but a mite awkward; am I missing something obvious here, or is this a genuine lexical gap?